What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.

- Danny Devito

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

- Danny Devito

The whole point of love is to put someone else’s needs above your own.

- Danny Devito

Even if one doesn't smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it.

- Danny Devito

I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a …

- Danny Devito

I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and …

- Danny Devito

It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that…

- Danny Devito

Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything.

- Danny Devito

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.

- Danny Devito