If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.

- Paul Reiser

When my son said, "I can't stop thinking about girls," I said, "That's not gonna stop. Congratulations. You're in the club. From now until the day yo…

- Paul Reiser

Once in a while you get a moment of clarity - an inspiration - and they don't come that frequently.

- Paul Reiser

It turns out most of the conclusions that I've come to in life have equally valid contradictions. I think it's true you need to make a plan, set a go…

- Paul Reiser

Happiness is the quiet lull between problems.

- Paul Reiser

The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.

- Paul Reiser

Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.

- Paul Reiser

The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed tog…

- Paul Reiser

I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.

- Paul Reiser