I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can't prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship.
Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are. - Gabriel Iglesias
Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are.
- Gabriel Iglesias
You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos. - Gabriel Iglesias
You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.
I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American. - Gabriel Iglesias
I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.
I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight. - Gabriel Iglesias
I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.
Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were? - Gabriel Iglesias
Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?
I'm not fat. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside of me. - Gabriel Iglesias
I'm not fat. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside of me.
I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake. - Gabriel Iglesias
I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.
With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense? - Gabriel Iglesias
With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?
There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn. - Gabriel Iglesias
There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.
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