touch-strippers-someone-weird-situation-like-deli-starving-like-heres-300-roast

You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.

Chris Hardwick
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Chris Hardwick's Popular Quotes

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

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It's very easy to attack ourselves. Even comforting in its familiarity, but you must resist this urge at all costs. Dwelling on the past or your perc…

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If you're able to build from your falls you'll be unstoppable and damn near fearless. You see, every time you fall down and get back up, you add anot…

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I dated around some, but I've always been a serial monogamist. I don't know how people date around a lot, and not want to stab themselves in the face…

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Real philosophy is like trying to read an alarm system installation manual in Korean.

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I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

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When you don't take an aggressive role in shaping your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, you become a helpless passenger floating through the univ…

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When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about th…

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I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

- Chris Hardwick
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