On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood
Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
- Victoria Wood
I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could … - Victoria Wood
I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could …
I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that… - Victoria Wood
I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that…
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' w… - Victoria Wood
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' w…
Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on. - Victoria Wood
Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my eveni… - Victoria Wood
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my eveni…
Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597. - Victoria Wood
Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.
Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get… - Victoria Wood
Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get…
All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro. - Victoria Wood
All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
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