The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.

- Thomas Beecham

We cannot expect you to be with us all the time, but perhaps you could be good enough to keep in touch now and again.

- Thomas Beecham

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.

- Thomas Beecham

A soprano in Massenet's Don Quixote complained that she had missed her entry in the aria, "because Mr. Challiapin always dies too soon." "Madam, you …

- Thomas Beecham

"Have you heard any Stockhausen?" Beecham was asked. "No, but I believe I have stepped in some."

- Thomas Beecham

The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

- Thomas Beecham

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

- Thomas Beecham

I find brass bands have a melancholy sound. All right out of doors, of course - fifty miles away. Like bagpipes, they turn what had been a dream into…

- Thomas Beecham

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

- Thomas Beecham