I have discovered the secret formula for a carefree old age: iycri = fi (if you can't recall it, forget it).

- Goodman Ace

I keep reading between the lies.

- Goodman Ace

TV—a clever contraction, derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville. We call it a medium, because nothing's well done.

- Goodman Ace

The best cure for hypochondria is to forget about your body and get interested in somebody else's.

- Goodman Ace

You know, my father died of cancer when I was a teenager. He had it before it became popular.

- Goodman Ace

Familiarity breeds attempt. Time wounds all heels. I went down on the Lower East Side today and saw all those Old Testament houses. We're all cremate…

- Goodman Ace

They call television a medium because nothing's well done.

- Goodman Ace

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

- Goodman Ace