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I was twenty-one at the time, about to turn twenty-two. No prospect of graduating soon, and yet no reason to quit school. Caught in the most curiously depressing circumstances. For months I'd been stuck, unable to take one step in any new direction. The world kept moving on; I alone was at a standstill. In the autumn, everything took on a desolate cast, the colors swiftly fading before my eyes. The sunlight, the smell of the grass, the faintest patter of rain, everything got on my nerves.
Haruki Murakami
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Interpretation

What this quote means

The quote reflects a sense of stagnation and emotional turmoil during a challenging phase of life.

In this quote, Haruki Murakami expresses the feeling of being trapped in a phase of life where progress seems impossible. As he describes his experience of being twenty-one and feeling lost, he illustrates the weight of despair that can accompany moments of uncertainty and lack of direction. The vivid imagery of the fading autumn surroundings symbolizes his internal state, where the beauty of life is overshadowed by his emotional struggles.

Themes

StagnationEmotional StruggleDesperationUncertaintyLife Change

In practice

Example use cases

This quote can be shared during a motivational talk at a school to relate to students feeling lost in their studies.

More from Haruki Murakami

You are 27 or 28 right? It is very tough to live at that age. When nothing is sure. I have sympathy with you.
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They take the circuits out of people’s brains that make it possible for them to think for themselves. Their world is like the one that George Orwell depicted in his novel. I’m sure you realize that there are plenty of people who are looking for exactly that kind of brain death. It makes life a lot easier. You don’t have to think about difficult things, just shut up and do what your superiors tell you to do.
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Memories and thoughts age, just as people do. But certain thoughts can never age, and certain memories can never fade.
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I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.
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Everybody burns out in this world; amateur, pro, it doesn't matter, they all burn out, they all get hurt, the OK guys and the not-OK guys both. That's why everybody takes out a little insurance. I've got some too, here at the bottom of the heap. That way, you manage to survive if you burn out. If you're all by yourself and don't belong anywhere, you go down once, and you're out. Finished.
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Life is so uncertain: you never know what could happen. One way to deal with that is to keep your pajamas washed.
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