Gazing at the typewriter in moments of desperation I console myself with three thoughts. Alcohol at six, dinner at eight, and to be immortal you've g…

- Gyles Brandreth

If you'd spent your life being called "Gyles Brandreth", you would crawl across broken glass to achieve the bliss, the simplicity, the purity, the jo…

- Gyles Brandreth

If God had meant us to go metric, why did he give Christ twelve apostles?

- Gyles Brandreth

He loved what he did, he loved being on Countdown - he just loved life

- Gyles Brandreth

John Major. He dresses so well. And so quickly.

- Gyles Brandreth

As a politician, you only meet two types of people. People with problems, and people who are right.

- Gyles Brandreth

In the Members' Dining Room, the Conservatives eat at one end, the Labour Party at the other, while the Liberals wait at table.

- Gyles Brandreth

I think it should be made clear that the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, they have not got into bed together; they are merely sharing a room.

- Gyles Brandreth

Praise makes me humble, but when I am abused, I know that I have touched the stars.

- Gyles Brandreth