I'm not too good when exposed to people

- Maria Semple

We were like the Beatles, Dad.' 'I know you think that, sweetie' 'Seriously. Mom is John, you're Paul, I'm George, and Ice Cream is Ringo.' 'Ice Crea…

- Maria Semple

That's right,' she told the girls. 'You are bored. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret about life. You think it's boring now? Well, it onl…

- Maria Semple

I can't tell you the number of times I've been in the middle of a perfunctory conversation, and someone will say, 'Tell us what you really think.' Or…

- Maria Semple

Unfortunately Seattle is my muse, for the better or worse of Seattle - I'm not sure.

- Maria Semple

You come out into the world after a season of TV and you're just swearing and saying mean things to people and they're looking at you like, Who are y…

- Maria Semple

This is why you must love life: one day you're offering up your social security number to the Russian Mafia; two weeks later you're using the word ca…

- Maria Semple

Hovering over me was the Chihuly chandelier. Chihulys are the pigeons of Seattle. They're everywhere and even if they don't get in your way, you can'…

- Maria Semple

Ruthless concern with story is what I learned in television.

- Maria Semple