The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.

- Moms Mabley

Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!

- Moms Mabley

Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.

- Moms Mabley

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

- Moms Mabley

Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.

- Moms Mabley

Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.

- Moms Mabley

A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can

- Moms Mabley

[On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.

- Moms Mabley

Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move.

- Moms Mabley