It said, 'War Is Not the Answer.' I disagree. I think war absolutely is the answer. And if you don't agree with me, happy Fourth of July.
I don't tend to like race jokes. I don't like Jew jokes and black jokes, and they make me very uncomfortable, probably because I'm both. Well, I'm no… - Iliza Shlesinger
I don't tend to like race jokes. I don't like Jew jokes and black jokes, and they make me very uncomfortable, probably because I'm both. Well, I'm no…
- Iliza Shlesinger
As a comedian, as an entertainer, there's a lot of downtime. Once you can accept that comedy is a marathon, not a sprint, it gets a little easier. - Iliza Shlesinger
As a comedian, as an entertainer, there's a lot of downtime. Once you can accept that comedy is a marathon, not a sprint, it gets a little easier.
I wasn't a 'hot chick' in high school. I was 'funny' and a tomboy and probably a little uncomfortable with my amazing boobs. - Iliza Shlesinger
I wasn't a 'hot chick' in high school. I was 'funny' and a tomboy and probably a little uncomfortable with my amazing boobs.
It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic. - Iliza Shlesinger
It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.
Both are salty, one will give me carpal tunnel, I'll go with the fries. - Iliza Shlesinger
Both are salty, one will give me carpal tunnel, I'll go with the fries.
You can't go to the bathroom alone... you might not come back. Cause no girl's ever been to the bathroom alone and survived. It's true. The last woma… - Iliza Shlesinger
You can't go to the bathroom alone... you might not come back. Cause no girl's ever been to the bathroom alone and survived. It's true. The last woma…
You know what happened the last time a group of people said, 'Screw it, we don't care what you think'? They got hung as witches. - Iliza Shlesinger
You know what happened the last time a group of people said, 'Screw it, we don't care what you think'? They got hung as witches.
Passion always finds a way. Follow your passion and everything else will work out. - Iliza Shlesinger
Passion always finds a way. Follow your passion and everything else will work out.
Ladies, just know that when you grow your hair too long, you got about two inches difference between really hot, sexy supermodel - religious fanatic.… - Iliza Shlesinger
Ladies, just know that when you grow your hair too long, you got about two inches difference between really hot, sexy supermodel - religious fanatic.…
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