There was a war going on in our house. A silent war that sounded no guns, and the bodies that fell were only wishes that died and the bullets were only words and the blood that spilled was always called pride.
Interpretation
This quote illustrates the struggle and conflict within a family hidden beneath the surface, emphasizing emotional pain and the harm caused by unspoken words.
Virginia C. Andrews describes the insidious nature of conflict within the domestic sphere. The quote portrays a metaphorical war, highlighting that the most injurious battles often occur silently, with words serving as weapons and unfulfilled desires leading to emotional casualties. It evokes the pain of unexpressed emotions and the pride that prevents healing, suggesting that familial relationships can be fraught with tensions that are not always visible but deeply felt.
In practice
This quote can be used in a family counseling session to illustrate the hidden tensions that often exist in households.
Love, how often that word came up in books over and over again. If you had wealth and health, and beauty and talent...you had nothing if you didn't have love. Love changed all that was ordinary into something giddy, powerful, drunken, enchanted.
After it's all over, the early childhood, a chain of birthdays woven with candlelight, piles of presents, voices of relatives singing and praising your promise and future, after the years of schooling, fitting yourself into different size desks, memorizing, reciting, reporting, and performing for jury after jury of teachers, counselors, and administrators, you still feel inadequate, alone, vulnerable, and naked in a world that can be unforgiving and terribly demanding.
...it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.
All B.S. aside, it all comes down to... we got to survive. I mean, even warriors put their spears down on Sundays. We got to survive here in this country... 'cause I'm not going back to Africa. We got to survive here. And for us to survive here-White folks, Black folks, Korean folks, Mexican folks, Puerto Ricans-we got to understand each other.
I believe in being fully present. That means you should be with the person you’re with.
Strictly speaking, one should not even rightly compare virginity to marriage because you cannot make a comparison between two things if one is good and the other evil.
Trust is the highest form of human motivation. It brings out the very best in people. But it takes time and patience.
While privacy strengthens all our bonds, secrecy weakens and damages connection. Lerner points out that we do not usually "know the emotional costs of keeping a secret" until the truth is disclosed. Usually, secrecy involves lying. And lying is always the setting for potential betrayal and violation of trust.
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