Footballers today are forced to conform to a bodily aesthetic that in its rigidity and uniformity makes fashion models look as varied as snowflakes. …

- Danny Baker

We dwell amid pinheaded weasels who know only timid, the generic and the abacus.

- Danny Baker

When Rioch came to Millwall we were depressed and miserable. He's done a brilliant job of turning it all around. Now we're miserable and depressed.

- Danny Baker

International friendly games are not worth the lives of the silk worms who perish to make the pennants. They do not even have the philanthropic excus…

- Danny Baker

May we now all rise and sing the eternal school hymn: "Attack. Attack. Attack Attack Attack!"

- Danny Baker

I really hate those Internet freaks who take each thirty minute bundle of joy and turn it into a cult game of Where's Wally.

- Danny Baker

To be extraordinarily happy and to have no concern for money drives some people nuts.

- Danny Baker