I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.

- Charles Portis

My Master of Arts degree means nothing at all to these monkeys and I have come to share their indifference.

- Charles Portis

I always go backwards when I am backing up.

- Charles Portis

I have known some horses and a good many more pigs who I believe harbored evil intent in their hearts. I will go further and say all cats are wicked,…

- Charles Portis

In the Anthropology Club, as I understood it, you were permitted, if not required, to despise only one thing, and that was your own culture, that of …

- Charles Portis

Lookin' back is a bad habit.

- Charles Portis

Time just gets away from us.

- Charles Portis

Nothing I like to do pays well.

- Charles Portis

You must pay for everything in this world one way and another. There is nothing free except the Grace of God. You cannot earn that or deserve it.

- Charles Portis