Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
It is better to look good than to feel good.
It's money. I remember it from when I was single
In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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