I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

- David Lee Roth

Classic Van Halen made people want to dance and f**k. Modern Van Halen makes you want to drink milk and drive foreign cars.

- David Lee Roth

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

- David Lee Roth

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

- David Lee Roth

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

- David Lee Roth

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

- David Lee Roth

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

- David Lee Roth

When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it.

- David Lee Roth

I think the two most difficult things to deal with in life are failure and success

- David Lee Roth