'What's a couple?' I asked my mum. She said, 'Two or three'. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed

- Josie Long

Surprise makes a joke funny. I love it when someone tells me something I couldn't possibly have expected; you've been led along one path and - bang! …

- Josie Long

I thought if I could make people laugh about how awkward I am, it'd make me less awkward. But you also realise how fun it is to make people laugh.

- Josie Long

The trouble with stand-up is it sort of is you and yet it isn't you and it's incredibly hard not to take everything said about you personally. I woul…

- Josie Long