It's not that I don't trust you, Dunstable, it's simply that I don't trust you.

- P. G. Wodehouse

New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to bed.

- P. G. Wodehouse

An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.

- P. G. Wodehouse

I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.

- P. G. Wodehouse

One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.

- P. G. Wodehouse

One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time bei…

- P. G. Wodehouse

Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

- P. G. Wodehouse

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to gi…

- P. G. Wodehouse

I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves

- P. G. Wodehouse