I am not responsible for actions of the imaginary version of me you have inside your head.

- John Scalzi

I didn't mind getting old when I was young. It's the being old now that's getting to me.

- John Scalzi

There's a difference between the fact that the universe is inherently unfair on a cosmic level, and the fact that life is unfair because people are a…

- John Scalzi

Sooner or later the Narrative will come for each of us.

- John Scalzi

Never anger a sci-fi writer. These people destroy entire planets over lunch. Imagine what they'll do to you.

- John Scalzi

Christianity is a fine religion and I wish more Christians practiced it.

- John Scalzi

Part of what makes us human is what we mean to other people, and what people mean to us.

- John Scalzi

I'm not insane, sir. I have a finely calibrated sense of acceptable risk.

- John Scalzi

If you want me to treat your ideas with more respect, get some better ideas.

- John Scalzi