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Whenever I meet people for the first time, I get them to talk for ten minutes. Then I size them up from the exact opposite perspective of all they’ve told me. Do you think that’s crazy? “No,” I said, shaking my head, “I’d guess your method works quite well.
Haruki Murakami
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Interpretation

What this quote means

This quote reflects the idea of listening to others before forming an opinion about them.

Haruki Murakami describes a fascinating strategy for understanding people by allowing them to speak freely, only to then evaluate their character from a contrasting viewpoint. This approach highlights the complexity of human interactions and suggests that first impressions can often be misleading, prompting deeper insights through listening followed by critical reflection.

Themes

ListeningUnderstandingRelationshipsPerspectiveCommunication

In practice

Example use cases

In a workshop on effective communication, you could use this quote to emphasize the importance of active listening.

More from Haruki Murakami

You are 27 or 28 right? It is very tough to live at that age. When nothing is sure. I have sympathy with you.
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They take the circuits out of people’s brains that make it possible for them to think for themselves. Their world is like the one that George Orwell depicted in his novel. I’m sure you realize that there are plenty of people who are looking for exactly that kind of brain death. It makes life a lot easier. You don’t have to think about difficult things, just shut up and do what your superiors tell you to do.
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Memories and thoughts age, just as people do. But certain thoughts can never age, and certain memories can never fade.
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I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.
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Everybody burns out in this world; amateur, pro, it doesn't matter, they all burn out, they all get hurt, the OK guys and the not-OK guys both. That's why everybody takes out a little insurance. I've got some too, here at the bottom of the heap. That way, you manage to survive if you burn out. If you're all by yourself and don't belong anywhere, you go down once, and you're out. Finished.
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Life is so uncertain: you never know what could happen. One way to deal with that is to keep your pajamas washed.
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