You have to have that emotional investment in the jokes that you're saying otherwise they actually don't work. You can say exactly the same thing, bu…

- John Bishop

When you start doing television, you want a transcript of what you're going to say, and every time I've had to do that, I've looked at it and gone, "…

- John Bishop

Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.

- John Bishop

If you're a musician, you create what you love and hope other people love it as well. Amongst musicians, the starting point is what they love, and th…

- John Bishop

What you have to remember, when you get to the level of seeing 10,000 people a night, is that they've all paid to have a performance. I need to make …

- John Bishop

I don't think interviewing people is any different than normal communication. The only thing is that it has these boundaries set upon it as to what t…

- John Bishop

I can only develop a stand-up show by being on stage. I can't write it. Whenever I see comedy written down, it very rarely makes me laugh.

- John Bishop

I refuse, whenever possible, to do shows on a Monday. I don't do gigs on a Monday, because nobody laughs on Mondays. Everybody wants Monday to be ove…

- John Bishop

On his teenage son: To be honest, I'm not sure the same kid comes home each night.

- John Bishop