If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it.

- John Candy

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

- John Candy

I don't watch my movies. I just get too critical of myself.

- John Candy

I did the 'Tonight Show' once, and I choked up. I get intimidated.

- John Candy

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

- John Candy

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

- John Candy

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

- John Candy

Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to ciga…

- John Candy

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

- John Candy