Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Sayings, and Wise Words for Daily Inspiration

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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

Andy Rooney's Popular Quotes

Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!

- Andy Rooney

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

- Andy Rooney

I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I'v…

- Andy Rooney

Being kind is more important than being right.

- Andy Rooney

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes betwee…

- Andy Rooney

I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

- Andy Rooney

It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.

- Andy Rooney

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

- Andy Rooney

I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.

- Andy Rooney