I'm a Frisbeetarian. We worship frisbees. We believe when you die your soul goes up on the roof and you can't get it down.

- Jim Stafford

Smoking wildwood flower got to be a habit, we didn't see no harm. We thought it was kind of handy, to take a trip and never leave the farm.

- Jim Stafford

Yes, I took a remedial algebra course in college. I struggled in math in high school and didn’t have confidence to plunge in with a for-credit algebr…

- Jim Stafford