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There are no winners in this election [2016]. I paid attention to it for about two months and then it just started to depress me. At least Hillary's [Clinton] a politician, but the fact that you've got a guy from a reality TV show! I have to say, out of everything I've ever watched in sports - the greatest comebacks ever - watching [Donald Trump] get the nomination for the Republican Party is the most astounding thing I've ever seen.

Bill Burr
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Bill Burr's Popular Quotes

[I'm] more German than Irish.

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We need a plague. It's gotta happen. And don't worry, it's only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you're gonna be…

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Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

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Realize that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you're not reall…

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Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

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Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

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Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added p…

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Deny your emotions and act like you have answers

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To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

- Bill Burr
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