This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get m…

- Jen Lancaster

I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.

- Jen Lancaster

I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism. Even though I may…

- Jen Lancaster

Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment, etc. I doubt we'll eve…

- Jen Lancaster

For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps pur…

- Jen Lancaster

I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment.

- Jen Lancaster

I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career -- every woman needs a couple of chi…

- Jen Lancaster

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

- Jen Lancaster

Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.

- Jen Lancaster