There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about "oh the baby's lovely." They said it's got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn't sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I don't know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger. I don't know what kept me from sayin' it.
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. - Karl Pilkington
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
- Karl Pilkington
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit. - Karl Pilkington
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot. - Karl Pilkington
Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot.
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff. - Karl Pilkington
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door. - Karl Pilkington
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good - Karl Pilkington
If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
I saw a bee have a heart attack. - Karl Pilkington
I saw a bee have a heart attack.
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out. - Karl Pilkington
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things. - Karl Pilkington
If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.
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