Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Sayings, and Wise Words for Daily Inspiration

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Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of the matter is they've become the aggressors. You know? They're upset if you're not balls deep in them by half way through the first date! They think you don't like them.

Andrew Dice Clay's Popular Quotes

I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a gir…

- Andrew Dice Clay

Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by…

- Andrew Dice Clay

I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive…

- Andrew Dice Clay

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

- Andrew Dice Clay

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

- Andrew Dice Clay

I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

- Andrew Dice Clay

I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with …

- Andrew Dice Clay