The word dysfunction has, I think, served its purpose and now has lost its meaning. Every family, like every person, is imperfect, after all. The idea that there is a family somewhere who functions, is an odd concept. In my youth I was running from my family to try to find out who I was-their influence distracted me. Now I see what a powerful hold they have, no matter what.
Interpretation
Dysfunction is a normal aspect of every family, highlighting the imperfections that shape individual identity.
In this quote, Susan Minot expresses the idea that the term 'dysfunction' no longer accurately represents the complexities of family life, as every family possesses its own imperfections. She reflects on her past desire to escape her family's influence in search of self-identity, only to realize later the significant impact they have on her life, emphasizing the inescapable bond of family despite its flaws.
In practice
During a family therapy session, discussing the idea of dysfunction in families.
I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up. My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be. If I didn't like it, they said, Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. Parents have to take better control.
Only after Mom went missing did you realize that her stories were piled inside you, in endless stacks. Mom's everyday life used to go on in a repeating loop, without a break. Her everyday words, which you didn't think deeply about and sometimes dismissed as useless when she was with you, awoke in your heart, creating tidal waves.
One time, I went to school, and they asked us all to find out where our roots were. It's goin' around the class, and the kids were going, 'I'm Swedish-German' or 'I'm English-Irish.' They got to me and I said, 'Pure Kentuckian.'
Because (grandparents) are usually free to love and guide and befriend the young without having to take daily responsibility for them, they can often reach out past pride and fear of failure and close the space between generations.
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
The first half of our lives are ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
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