She had been wrong to think it wouldn't matter that much to him, yes,He took her for granted, of course he did , but he took her for granted - not like an old coat in the corner of a dark cupboard, as she'd put it to herself , but like the very air that he breathed .
Interpretation
This quote reflects on the importance of appreciation in relationships, highlighting how taking someone for granted can be deeper than neglect.
In this quote, Ahdaf Soueif conveys a poignant message about the often-unseen emotional dynamics in relationships. The speaker realizes that being taken for granted can manifest in profound ways, akin to how one perceives the essentiality of air. This emphasizes that neglect in a relationship, even if it appears subtle, can lead to feelings of invisibility and unimportance, suggesting that acknowledgment and appreciation are vital for mutual respect and love.
In practice
During a conversation about relationship dynamics, one might use this quote to illustrate the subtle ways in which partners can overlook each other's needs.
I haven't come to you only to take , I haven't come to you empty handed : I bring you poetry as great as yours but in anther tongue , I bring you black eyes and golden skin and curly hair , I bring you Islam and Luxor and Alexandria and Lutes and tambourines and date-palms and silk rugs and sunshine and incense and voluptuous ways
It is that happy stretch of time when the lovers set to chronicling their passion. When no glance, no tone of voice is so fleeting but it shines with significance. When each moment, each perception is brought out with care, unfolded like a precious gem from its layers of the softest tissue paper and laid in front of the beloved — turned this way and that, examined, considered.
It's probably foolish to expect relationships to go on forever and to say that because something only lasts 10 years, it's a failure.
I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort where we overlap.
She saw herself riding in the passenger seat, Sam behind the wheel. Like two of those little peg people in a toy car. Husband peg, wife peg, side by side. Facing the road and not looking at each other; for why would they need to, really, having gone beyond the visible surface long ago. No hope of admiring gazes anymore, no chance of unremitting adoration. Nothing left to show but their plain, true, homely, interior selves, which were actually much richer anyhow.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
I have learned to imagine an invisible sign around each person's neck that says 'Make me feel important.
I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make my marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.
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