Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?

- Maryjanice Davidson

I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.

- Maryjanice Davidson

I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. "My God! You…

- Maryjanice Davidson

You have attained maturity; display it for us, if you please.

- Maryjanice Davidson

He said my name the way diabetics talked about hot fudge sundaes.

- Maryjanice Davidson

Why is it suddenly uncool to spell? That's all I want to know.

- Maryjanice Davidson

Has anyone ever told you that you lack focus?

- Maryjanice Davidson

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?" "Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vo…

- Maryjanice Davidson

Never, EVER give up. Not ever. Not EVER. Ever EVER!

- Maryjanice Davidson