You can only be embarrassed if you allow yourself to be embarrassed. If you embrace it and just accept that you're kind of a klutz, and you're able t…

- Stephen Merchant

I was trying for years to woo people through humour, but it seems flash cars are much easier.

- Stephen Merchant

My twitter fans are all pretty weird. A lot of them are kind of weirdly sexually aggressive. Some of them made me laugh and then I instantly tried to…

- Stephen Merchant

The reason I keep talking about a wife and saying the word wife on stage is because it seems a funny word to me. The more you say it, the more it see…

- Stephen Merchant

Even here in California with more contemporary buildings. I have a real problem with the low doorframes. It's a curse! That's just another of the man…

- Stephen Merchant

When I get hired as an actor as opposed to a writer, one of things that's exciting for me is doing stuff I wouldn't normally do myself. So whether it…

- Stephen Merchant

I like playing a bit of golf. But, if people went around beating people to death with golf clubs, I'd say, 'Ban golf. I'll take up tennis'

- Stephen Merchant