You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.

- Don Rickles

I never could tell a joke. I just started talking to the audience, and when the drunks would yell, "Hey, when do the broads come on?" I got good at s…

- Don Rickles

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

- Don Rickles

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

- Don Rickles

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

- Don Rickles

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

- Don Rickles

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

- Don Rickles

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

- Don Rickles

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

- Don Rickles