You know you're out of shape when you have a heart attack when you're watching television.
I went to rent a car, and the guy goes, 'Do you want the extra insurance?' I said, 'Why...am I gonna get into an extra accident? - Robert Schimmel
I went to rent a car, and the guy goes, 'Do you want the extra insurance?' I said, 'Why...am I gonna get into an extra accident?
- Robert Schimmel
What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish." - Robert Schimmel
What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."
I flew out here on Southwest Airlines. Southwest has a plane that's painted like Shamu the whale from Sea World. Yeah, that'll be easy to find if tha… - Robert Schimmel
I flew out here on Southwest Airlines. Southwest has a plane that's painted like Shamu the whale from Sea World. Yeah, that'll be easy to find if tha…
My mom told me when I was younger that when you jack off all of your dead relatives are watching. But then I figured who were they going to tell. - Robert Schimmel
My mom told me when I was younger that when you jack off all of your dead relatives are watching. But then I figured who were they going to tell.
So my wife said she read this article in a magazine and she said: "You know, maybe you're suffering from premature ejaculation." Yeah, does it look l… - Robert Schimmel
So my wife said she read this article in a magazine and she said: "You know, maybe you're suffering from premature ejaculation." Yeah, does it look l…
Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was tr… - Robert Schimmel
Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was tr…
You know you're out of shape when you have a heart attack when you're watching television. - Robert Schimmel
A lot of weird ads. Sally Struthers with that little kid: 'Just 55 cents, the price of a cup of coffee, feeds this kid and his family for a week.' Ye… - Robert Schimmel
A lot of weird ads. Sally Struthers with that little kid: 'Just 55 cents, the price of a cup of coffee, feeds this kid and his family for a week.' Ye…
How do blind people know when they're done wiping their ass? - Robert Schimmel
How do blind people know when they're done wiping their ass?
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