They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.