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I think once I fail enough as a dad, I'll be looking for help wherever I can get it. I just need enough time to screw things up and then I'll start looking to TV dads for advice.

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

They that will not be counseled, cannot be helped. If you do not hear reason she will rap you on the knuckles.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition.

It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done.

My advice to you concerning applause is this: enjoy it but never quite believe it

Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody.

If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.

The rich are always advising the poor, but the poor seldom return the compliment.

Take the tone of the company you are in...

In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.

Never buy what you do not want, because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

I sometimes give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.

A wise man will live as much within his wit as within his income.

Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most, like it the least.

If I would follow your advice and Jesus could perceive it, he, as a Jewish teacher, surely would not approve of such behavior.

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don't.

No engineer can go upon a new work and not find something peculiar, that will demand his careful reflection, and the deliberate consideration of any advice that he may receive; and nothing so fully reveals his incapacity as a pretentious assumption of knowledge, claiming to understand everything.

Never take advice from someone you wouldn't trade places with.

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