I didn't shoot anybody, no sir . . . I'm just a patsy..

To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend..

I'm on the road so much that I don't get to spend as much time there as I would like..

"You can eff off, too," I say, except I don't say eff, I say what 'eff' stands for..

It's not about what you're saying, it's about how you listen..

What can be sustained and repeated without emptying out?.

Pay attention to what you're paying attention to..

Everything is overflowing with Gods..

Success in anything is through happiness..

My head works in music, so there's always music there..

It seems to me that the spirit of politeness is a certain attention in causing that, by our words and by our manners, others may be content with us a….

I think a lot of people get into stand-up to be the center of attention, which is perfectly legitimate. But I think I got in there to be heard..

I've never not been famous..

You either are or you're not..

Love changes us, but we change how we love too..

When a customer asks what no one else has ever asked, pay close attention..

Fear is a sign-usually a sign that I'm doing something right..

There's nothing like a great piece of theater - a great performance in a great piece of theater..

Doubtless there are other roads..

No one's going to shoot at me..

It's really good to be here and as I always say, it's really good to be anywhere!.