Quotes on Being Drunk

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.