Always do something that requires you and your date to talk..

We all see only that which we are trained to see..

I don’t approve of religion..

My life now could not be better..

The future's here, we are it, we are on our own.

He who says o'er much I love not is in love..

Things explain each other, not themselves..

Everybody needs some good sketch comedy..

Carlos Castaneda always said, "If you're going to do something, do it impeccably.".

It's OK to not be OK - just don't stay there..

Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor..

I love new questions..

Live High, Live Mighty, Live Righteously.

I don't really take myself very seriously..

The Fuhrer is always right. I sense it..

When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy..

I'm religiously celibate except in LA, NOLA, FLA, because there is certainly no God in any of those places. So unless you live in one of those places….

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author..

How can you hide from what never goes away?.

I think Comedy Central and probably all channels are on their way toward being apps accessible on whatever the Roku of the future is..

Gloriously false. [Like Rahab.].