Quotes on Funny Diet

Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.