Quotes on Funny Witty

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

The problems that exist in this world can not be solved by the level of thinking that created them.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.