I have not been briefed..

Possibly I've become less funny as I've been happier..

Youre only yourself when no ones watching!.

When you finally learn how to do it, you're too old for the good parts..

I've succeeded at everything except my life..

Whoever excommunicates me, excommunicates God..

Everybody is influenced by someone..

There is no wisdom but in death.

What I tend to do is blend quantitative with the qualitative to allow me to plot the qualitative data in some way. It's a question of what quantitati….

I hope we have American-topias..

But a living is not a life..

Life's there to make the most of, and that's what I do..

No one's ever gotten better by practicing less..

I'm a wild lady. Not..

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads..

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one..

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted..

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution..

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson..

Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people".

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting..