Explore Quotes on Golf

I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.

You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them.

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Nobody ever remembers who finished second at anything.

Never let up. The more you can win by, the more doubts you put in the other players' minds the next time out.

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded.

President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.

Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off!

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.

There was the man who seemed to be attempting to decieve his ball and lull it into a false sense of security by looking away from it and then making a lightning slash in the apparent hope of catching it off its guard.