Quotes on Humour

OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.

The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes.

BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

I think if you come from a history of persecution you have to develop a sense of humour.

It's all rot that they put in the war-news about the good humour of the troops, how they are arranging dances almost before they are out of the front-line. We don't act like that because we are in a good humour: we are in a good humour because otherwise we should go to pieces.

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

What is done cannot be undone, but one can prevent it happening again

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

You don't stop laughing because you grow older. You grow older because you stop laughing.

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

The establishment will irritate you - pull your beard, flick your face - to make you fight. Because once they've got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don't know how to handle is non-violence and humor.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

I have inherited my father's sense of humour about myself. It's a lot more pleasant to make fun of yourself than when someone else does.

I've always been an optimist and I believe laughter is a wonderful thing

But my way of writing is rather to think aloud, and follow my own humours, than much to consider who is listening to me; and, if I stop to consider what is proper to be said to this or that person, I shall soon come to doubt whether any part at all is proper.

IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

My mum, Helen, was hilarious. She had a tremendous sense of humour and was a great singer and tap dancer. For many years, she was the voice of Minnie Mouse in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. She would be in the float as it came along, singing whatever the Minnie Mouse song of the day was. She was a really big spirit in my life.