Explore Quotes on Kids

The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it.

Yeah, I finished, it was hard. Those last five miles. It was like giving birth and then being told to run as you're giving birth. It was so much pain in my hips. I don't know if women are meant to run, especially after having kids.

You may not win the Super Bowl. Your kids may not go on to be doctors and lawyers and everything may not go perfectly. That doesn't mean it was a bad plan or the wrong thing. It's just like a football season. Everything's not going to go perfect.

I remember one spring when I was doing the team's telecasts, Bob Allison was with me, and we were walking through the clubhouse in Orlando. This kid who was trying to make it with the Twins as an outfielder came up to me and asked who was that with me. I said that's Bob Allison, and you better hope you have as good a career as he had.

After September, I've reflected on the campaign, and being a new father of twin boys, I really feel like I owe it to the kids in the city to give this a shot and make this district a better place.

Did you know that nearly one in three children live apart from their biological dads? Those kids are two to three times more likely to grow up in poverty, to suffer in school, and to have health and behavioral problems.

But there's no substitute for a full-time dad. Dads who are fully engaged with their kids overwhelmingly tend to produce children who believe in themselves and live full lives.

I remember facing him on opening day in 1987. It was Oakland at the Minnesota Twins, the first time I got him out on a breaking ball down-and-in and next at bat he hit the same pitch for a home run. I was telling my kids that story yesterday.

The good part of having six kids is, there's always one who wants to hug you and say, 'Daddy, I love you.'

If they don't board and live by themselves, even in their second year they've got no lounge or kitchen table and it's a pretty lonely existence when you get home to an empty house. Homesickness is a key issue for kids who are drafted interstate, whether they are going to Melbourne or coming to Perth or going to Brisbane. All the kids we've drafted this year will all go through periods of homesickness, which can lead to worse things.

When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

My iPod holds 3,000 albums. I own, like, 90 albums. My iPod sits at home, sullen, frustrated, and underused, like a wife who gave up her career and the kids turned out to be shite.

I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

On his teenage son: To be honest, I'm not sure the same kid comes home each night.

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!

I used to binge-eat and make myself throw up. I was a fat kid. Obviously I didn't quite master the bulimia.

I guess I worry about weird existential things, like how do we spend our final act. This is a very emotional question. I can't answer it without crying. I think, You're 56 years old, what did you do? You raised two good kids. What am I going to do now that is as meaningful as that? I don't know the answer yet.