I watch Jon Stewart because I need to laugh. Otherwise, life gets too serious. Besides that, I don't watch any news..

I found that I could make people laugh doing people like Shirley Bassey. Fortunately it worked..

Respect the old, but seek out the new..

You don't always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it too..

My life was very Japanese..

You and I aren't friends either..

You can't ride the chairlift and call yourself Edmund Hillary..

We don't say nothing more. What else is there to say? Everything and nothing. You can't say everything, so you don't say nothing..

Some will always be above others..

Judge of a jest when you have done laughing..

I don't want you leaving laughing, I want to leave you shaking. That to me is true horror..

Live close, visit often..

What you're looking for, you won't find. But only by looking for it can it find you..

Everything was invented when somebody was alone..

It's not the time in your life, it's the life in your time..

Finally there is nothing here for death to take away..

Being able to make a living doing something one truly loves to do - is my definition of success..

The right relationship won't distract you from God. It will bring you closer to Him..

We are not primarily called to do something or go somewhere; we are called to Someone..

We are here not to make something of ourselves. We are here to Be ourselves..

Can we all just stop being dicks?!.