Someone recommended that I read the Bible, and it was then I discovered that I knew nothing about it..

I will no longer take anyone's word for my experience..

Literature is not only a mirror; it is a map, a geography of the mind..

May we so love as never to have occasion to repent of our love!.

There is nothing more important than writing well for the young, if literature is to have a continuance ... They will inherit the earth; and nothing ….

Money is a handmaiden, if thou knowest how to use it A mistress, if thou knowest not..

Hindu religious literature, indeed all religious literature, is full of illustrations to prove the truth..

Nearly all novels are too long..

The so-called literature of escape, with its growing popularity, is in part a revolt against the tyranny of clocks..

The only books that work are those which fly through the air - the ones you let happen, not make happen..

You cannot live without doing something..

Anything that can be dreamed is true..

I love to work. I love doing standup..

Don't immanentize the eschaton!.

I have a St. Bernard named B..

My act is based on my life..

unrequitted love amuses me.

Invest time, don't spend it..

In real terms, there is a greater disparity of earnings between the very rich and the very poor..

It can always get worse..

Yes, I am very prolific..