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We're all constantly keeping score. You can't help it. But trying to pit ourselves against other people in some measurable way is largely a waste of time.
Can you imagine the first time they figured out how to mechanically raise somebody up through the stage and make them appear, or drop them down on a rope or a wire? It blew everybody's minds, I'm sure.
I'm Scottish, but I also feel British at that same time.
Standing up for yourself. That's the thing martial artists aren't used to. You've got to really stick up for yourself and be a tough businessman when it's time for negotiations.
Every time you fight for a world championship fighters take pride... it's a special moment to be a main event for a world title fight.
My music's like waiting for a bus. You wait a long time for one, then a whole heap of them come along.
Every time I'm preparing a new production, I'm trying to reinvent my style and offer the audience several choices.
I've learned that you can do something great, but you have to continue reinventing yourself as an artist. So by the time someone else is copying your style, you have something else to offer your audience.
Christmas is a special time of year for everyone - I remember getting my first BMX bike when I was a kid, and it was the best present ever.
I hate seeing people getting a raw deal and artists not being in control of what they are doing. It happens all the time.
I want time for my career, my kids, and my partner.
I find the Aussies are great and just let you be. The odd time, somebody has something smart to say, but it's very rare.
One time, a fan jumped on the back of our vehicle, and without noticing, we drove away. I was pretty frightened, actually.
I listen to loads of different music all the time.
In the time it takes to heat a TV dinner, Clinton had convinced me that he was the smartest person in the room and that I was the center of his attention. In the next 25 years, I would see countless others fall just as quickly to the Clinton Touch.
But one of the satisfying things about performing a play is you know for that piece of time exactly what you're going to be doing. Your life has a physical pattern. There's something about the odd, repetitious nature of it that I find hugely relaxing. All the problems of life are taken care of for that bit of time.
As soon as you have two small children, they take up a lot of time and energy.
With those long American TV contracts you think, 'yes, at the end of that I'd be rich.' But at the same time you feel inside you a kind of death, because I enjoy playing lots of different characters.
I write these shows one joke at a time. There's no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there's not continuity.
There have been times when I played more than others, but I've been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I've always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
A word about blue jeans, which, when I was growing up, were called dungarees, one of the more unfortunate marketing ideas of our time: Starting as a work garment for miners, the ubiquitous blue jeans became a staple of the counterculture starting when Brando wore them in 'On the Waterfront' and remained so through the anti-war protests of the '70s.
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