Anything that can be dreamed is true..

I love to work. I love doing standup..

God's been good to me, He really has..

Love. Resoundingly and absolutely..

I make my relationships at work..

Don't immanentize the eschaton!.

I have a St. Bernard named B..

My act is based on my life..

unrequitted love amuses me.

Invest time, don't spend it..

The world is meaningless and therefore it's funny..

Setting up absurd worlds with rules to violate - it's one of the things I hope to achieve with my work..

I'm too old to be forced..

It can always get worse..

Yes, I am very prolific..

Calamus fortior gladio..

The world is full of ghosts, and some of them are still people..

You can't really be too calculated about everything in life..

The greatest art in the world is the art of storytelling..

I take the Bible far too seriously to take it literally..

Either one lives for politics or one lives off politics..